How Technology Changes Teen Romance
The topic of teenage romance and sex has always been charged, but today’s pervasive digital technology has succeeded in turning up the wattage. Some parents have an easy and open channel with their adolescent around all things amorous while others find the subject painfully awkward and try to avoid it altogether. Regardless of where you and your teenager sit on this spectrum, the digital world puts a new spin on some of the timeless challenges of coming of age. When you’re ready to talk, here are some points to consider.
Curiosity, for better or worse, will be satisfied online.
Young people have always been curious about sex, and when our teenagers have questions, the internet is usually their first stop, for worse and for better. Adolescents can and do find highly explicit sexual material online, and an emerging body of research tells a worrisome story about the place of pornography in young people’s lives. For example, a new research reviewlinks exposure to sexually explicit and sexually abusive media to an increased occurrence and acceptance of both dating violence and sexual violence.
On a more positive note, teenagers also turn to the internet for information about relationships and sexual health. Indeed, a recent report found that rates of teenage births and sexually transmitted infections dropped in communities as high-speed internet access improved. The researchers concluded that the reduction in adolescent births was not clearly linked to a shift in abortion rates and was likely explained, in part, by increased access to information about contraception and how to obtain it.
Parents can address both of these fronts by talking with teenagers about pornography and by directing them to dependable online information. While books about healthy sexuality can serve as excellent resources for children and tweens, older adolescents may appreciate (or, at least, tolerate) having their parents highlight online options such as Sex, Etc., a youth friendly website sponsored by Answer at Rutgers University.
Some adolescents might comfortably surf sexual education websites with their parents, while others might prefer to receive a text message from their folks (“Sharing, without comment, a site with solid info…”). And some will welcome an oblique approach — should your teenager mention that a classmate has a serious girlfriend you could say, “If they need it, I hope that they know to check out the health and relationship information that Planned Parenthood puts up online.”Continue reading the main stor
Parents should consider talking with their teenagers about abusive relationships, and a conversation about digital mistreatment would be a good place to start. In a recent survey, more than half of adolescent girls and boys had dated someone who tried to monitor or control them by texting so frequently that it made the recipient uncomfortable, expecting immediate responses, asking for their passwords, or tracking their location or social activity.
The same report also found that nearly half of teenagers had been in a relationship with a partner who used technology against them, either to spread rumors, post embarrassing or hurtful messages, or make threats. And roughly a third experienced sexual coercion via digital means: they were pressured to have sex, received unwanted sexual images or were urged to send them, or had their nude pictures sent to others without permission.
Curiosity, for better or worse, will be satisfied online.
Young people have always been curious about sex, and when our teenagers have questions, the internet is usually their first stop, for worse and for better. Adolescents can and do find highly explicit sexual material online, and an emerging body of research tells a worrisome story about the place of pornography in young people’s lives. For example, a new research reviewlinks exposure to sexually explicit and sexually abusive media to an increased occurrence and acceptance of both dating violence and sexual violence.
On a more positive note, teenagers also turn to the internet for information about relationships and sexual health. Indeed, a recent report found that rates of teenage births and sexually transmitted infections dropped in communities as high-speed internet access improved. The researchers concluded that the reduction in adolescent births was not clearly linked to a shift in abortion rates and was likely explained, in part, by increased access to information about contraception and how to obtain it.
Parents can address both of these fronts by talking with teenagers about pornography and by directing them to dependable online information. While books about healthy sexuality can serve as excellent resources for children and tweens, older adolescents may appreciate (or, at least, tolerate) having their parents highlight online options such as Sex, Etc., a youth friendly website sponsored by Answer at Rutgers University.
Some adolescents might comfortably surf sexual education websites with their parents, while others might prefer to receive a text message from their folks (“Sharing, without comment, a site with solid info…”). And some will welcome an oblique approach — should your teenager mention that a classmate has a serious girlfriend you could say, “If they need it, I hope that they know to check out the health and relationship information that Planned Parenthood puts up online.”Continue reading the main stor
Parents should consider talking with their teenagers about abusive relationships, and a conversation about digital mistreatment would be a good place to start. In a recent survey, more than half of adolescent girls and boys had dated someone who tried to monitor or control them by texting so frequently that it made the recipient uncomfortable, expecting immediate responses, asking for their passwords, or tracking their location or social activity.
The same report also found that nearly half of teenagers had been in a relationship with a partner who used technology against them, either to spread rumors, post embarrassing or hurtful messages, or make threats. And roughly a third experienced sexual coercion via digital means: they were pressured to have sex, received unwanted sexual images or were urged to send them, or had their nude pictures sent to others without permission.
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